


You’ll Change The Course Of Generations

by TheYaoiChick



Series: Music Inspired [4]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Don't copy to another site, Dysfunctional Family, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Introspection, Ozai (Avatar) Being a Terrible Parent, Team as Family, little to no dialogue, this was not supposed to be this long
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:21:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21915940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheYaoiChick/pseuds/TheYaoiChick
Summary: Iroh’s thoughts on his nephews journey, and on the man he’s became.
Relationships: Azula & Iroh (Avatar), Azula & Zuko (Avatar), Iroh & Ozai (Avatar), Iroh & Ursa (Avatar), Iroh & Zuko (Avatar), Ozai & Zuko (Avatar), The Gaang & Zuko (Avatar)
Series: Music Inspired [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1481129
Comments: 20
Kudos: 192
Collections: I think of you as my own, Zuko_angsty_and_cuddly





	You’ll Change The Course Of Generations

**Author's Note:**

> [Family Tree by Matthew West](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=3jt98iESRbo)

On the day he is born, on what should have been cause for celebration and laughter and blessings from Agni, have instead been overwrought with pain, and anger, and tears and rage. 

His brother -- _furious_ that his child's eye does not bare the spark, did not scream his life to the palace at large, is tiny and breathing not the way he should. Is _ill_. 

Ursa -- protective and so obviously in love with her child already, holding him tight to her bosom. Terrified of her husband, who wished for nothing more than to erase what he sees as a stain on his legacy, to throw the child out to be reclaimed by nature. Knowing, that should she not be able to convince him otherwise, that she would permanently lose much of her heart that day.

His father -- disinterested at large, for he already has a grandson, healthy and strong and already showing signs of shaping up to be the leader the fire nation deserves. 

His son -- confused on why he isn’t allowed to see his new baby cousin, who he’d been anxiously waiting to be born, already deciding that he would be the child's protecter and guide. 

And himself -- saddened that for all that he wished to, he knew he could not interfere with Ozai’s wishes, and that should the choice be made to end his young nephews life before it could even begin, he would be helpless to stop it.

And after losing his wife so soon, he isn’t sure his heart could take the loss of another family member tossed away so carelessly. Isn’t sure his _son_ could bare losing someone else so soon, especially since Iroh wouldn’t know where to _begin_ on explaining why a father would ever want to throw away their child. No matter what the child has done, or what they could or couldn’t do.

Fortunately Ursa, with the help of the Fire Sages, was able to convince Ozai to give the boy a chance. To wait and see if the spark will come in age, and that just because one did not show signs of being a fire bender at birth did not mean that they would never become one at all. And, the head Fire Sage had muttered, Agni would not look kindly on any who would needlessly slaughter one of his children for doing no wrong.

And has Iroh looks down on his baby nephew, held so lovingly in his mothers tired arms as he rubs a finger over his cheek and listens with half ear as Lu Ten tells Ursa excitedly all the ways he’ll look after his cousin, all Iroh could think is, “ _How could anyone want to throw away a life so precious? So sacred. How can a Father look on their own blood, and not feel the overwhelming **need** to keep them save and cherished for this cruel world? How can he not see this **gift** that Agni has given him?_”

Not for the first time, Iroh thinks his brother a blinded fool.

* * *

And he watches. Always keeping an eye from afar, never interfering but always trying to be a kind word or a safe space to cry or laugh when needed.

Watches as Zuko grows, and does not acquire the bending skill his brother is searching so desperately for. Watches as Ozai watches from afar and grows more and more distant from his child, more demanding, more strick, more callous. Watches as Ursa does as she can, watches as she encourages the skills he has, encourages him to be a child while he can, to nurture his kind heart, and protect his gentle spirit that their family would sooner see crushed and destroyed, even if the end result is a broken shell that feels nothing, honors nothing, _craves_ and _desires_ nothing from his life but what Ozai wants from him. 

Watches as Lu Ten allows him to follow him about not unlike the turtle-ducks Zuko loves as much as his mother. As Lu Ten tries to teach him in his spar time, as little of it as he has, and watches as Zuko grows and learns more under his tutelage than he ever has under his overbearing tutors. As Lu Ten plays games with him that not a week prior he had told his father he was too old to play. Listens as Lu Ten tells him of what he’ll do as Fire Lord one day, and how Zuko will one day be one of his advisors so he has to pay very good attention in his classes so he can give reliable advice.

Watches as he tries to do the same for his sister. How he holds her hand as she begins to learn to walk. How he tolerates with a smile her first attempts at his name, and Iroh and Ursa share a smile knowing that _Zuzu_ wasn’t going to change anytime soon. Listens as he whispers to her that he’ll protect her, and that he would always be there for her, because that’s what big brothers did.

Watched as that promise slowly eroded away when Azula showed to be a firebender before he did. As their father pits them against each other, and makes certain they _both_ know exactly who Ozai sees as superior. Who Ozai favors. Who, as far as the three are concerned, is most deserving in life, who will actually _make_ something of themselves in this world.

And he watches as Zuko breaks himself into pieces, over and over and over again, in the vain hope that he can show he has worth too. That he _can_ make something of himself. That he can _force_ himself to become what his father wants him to be, that if he has to become a shadow of his former self, well. That just means his former self _belonged_ in the past. That he proved that even a baby phoenix can be reborn as the furious of dragons.

And then-- then he can not watch for a time, being sent again to the front lines. Being sent, and having to bare the knowledge that his _son_ would be fighting out there. Because while he has full confidence that Lu Ten could handle whatever was thrown at him, he was not young -- nor foolish or naive enough -- to not know that even the weakest and foolish of soldiers can land a lucky blow. And one blow is all it would take.

He wonders about him, about _all_ of the family that was left behind at the capital on the slow days. Wonders how they’re doing, if Ozai has managed to completely severe the bonds between his children to make them easier to manipulate to his ends, or if Ursa’s more gentle approach has managed to connect them, to smooth out Azula’s need to emulate her father and practice exerting control by manipulating her brother and the small group of friends she had found while at the academy. Wonders if Zuko is keeping in mind the few lessons Lu Ten had managed to give him, and the advice that Iroh himself had tried to teach but Zuko had written off as cryptic nonsense at the time. Wonders if he’s forgotten under the heavy hand his tutors are undoubtedly slamming him with.

Iroh wonders, just to keep the fears away. They’ve already lost fifteen men. Good, hard working, and loyal men. Who, while undoubtedly gave their lives for their nation with pride, shouldn't have been cut down so easily. But, and he admits this shamefully, he could not stop the breath of relief to not hear Lu Ten’s name among them.

But then, on that horrible day, that chances. Lu Ten - his beautiful, strong, amazing son - is dead. Buried under heaps of rubble, no less than four boulders shot at him at the same time. And Iroh _breaks_. How can he possibly go on now? He’s already lost his wife, and now, to lose him too. Iroh may not be as old as most retired military men, but he knows, he may as well have died that day too. He isn’t completely sure he _hasn’t_. He’s nothing more than a hollow shell, paying no care to what’s happening around him, because what does it matter? What meaning is there in the world if Lu Ten is not in it? What meaning is there to this _war_ that so carelessly took him from him?

He leaves the battle field. Leaves his siege behind, orders his men home. Orders them in vain hope that at least _someone_ will see their child again, will get to hold them close and give thanks to Agni for keeping them save. To keep that faith that Agni cares at all, and has not simply abandoned them to their fates.

And that. That sparks an idea. If the spirits have abandoned them, then he will simply go to _them_. He will find his son. He will give life _meaning_ again.

He gives no thought to what is happening in the capital. No thought on the pain Lu Ten’s memory leaves them, or just the plans that his ambitious brother would put in place, dismissive of the ramifications. Does not think, does not _wonder_ , just what else he has lost that day.

His pain was just too blinding.

* * *

When he arrives home, spirit world journey living a bitter taste of failure but a new sense a wisdom fresh on his mind, he finds things have changed more than he could have ever imagined.

His father is dead. So soon after losing his son, he lost a father. Iroh wishes his heart would react, but it is simply too much. Too soon. He is numb.

His brother is Fire Lord. The position that should have gone to him, and he is relieved as much as he is suspicious. Their father had always been... harder on Ozai. Always kept him at a distance, never pleased by his accomplishments and forever bitter on his failings. Forever bitter that Ozai was his _own_ man, instead of another Iroh. Iroh could not imagine that Azulon would have _willingly_ allowed Ozai the throne. Especially without consulting Iroh on wether he wanted the throne or not after such a lost. There is a story there, but Iroh is too tired to sniff it out.

Ursa is gone. Not dead, not exiled, simply vanished into the night. No one mentions her, not in worry as they would had she been anything but willing to go, but also not in anger or contempt for abandoning her nation, her husband, her _children_ for no reason. They just simply pretend as though she had never existed in the first place. Ozai acts as though she is simply on a long trip. Azula is following her fathers example though she gives herself away when she looks at her brother, brow furrowed and anger clear, as though she blamed _him_ for their mothers disappearance.

And Zuko? Zuko has clearly lost the piece of innocence that all children have, that their parent will always be there to protect them. The way he looks from Azula to Ozai, fear and denial clearly fighting within him, showed that Iroh was clearly missing an important part of this story. And though he has no desire to fight for a throne he does not want, has no desire to alienate the few remaining family he has left, the general in him could not ignore the signs that what happened to his father and what happened to Ursa were most likely connected.

He wished he felt surprised. But after all that’s happened, the only surprising thing was that Zuko and Azula had not payed for their fathers greed for power too.

He would realize far too late that they had. It just wasn’t skin visible. Not yet.

* * *

_Stupid_. Why, _why_ had he let Zuko into that room? He should have _known_ better. He knows the sort of plans that these generals think of, the sort of plans _he_ used to think of. He should have known Zuko, with his kind heart and naive ideals, would have spoken out. 

Would not see that in war, greedy men step on those under their power to get ahead. That those who have never seen bloodshed, have never left their cozy little home fronts as they send others to bring their glory home, have no care of human life. Do not care of the lives being thrown away needlessly, and turn and say those same men should be _grateful_ to give their lives for their great nation, and their cause. Even if those men do not know what they are dying for, know nothing more than that is what their Lord demands.

And **_no one_** ignores the demand of the Fire Lord.

Zuko does not see this. Does not understand why loyalty would be repaid with blood and betrayal. Does not understand that to these men, loyalty is a one sided deal, and they are the sole benefiters.

And when he had turned around for that Agni damned Agni Kai, it was clear he did not understand the enemy he would be facing. Did not understand just who he had offended by speaking out, no matter how justified.

And it takes everything in him not to lose his lunch when he smells the burnt flesh, hears the echoes of his nephews screams, the image scorched into his brain of Zuko kneeling there with tears streaming down as he tries in vain to a right a wrong that does not exist. It takes twice the self control not to punch a hole in Ozai’s _chest_ for throwing away the very thing that Iroh would give his _life_ to have returned for him.

Iroh follows Zuko into banishment. He knows himself well enough, that he could not sit and play court and be forced to see Ozai _every_ single day, knowing that Zuko was living in destitute, living in anger and rage at the world while turning over every stone looking for a spirit tale. Though, that was only if he did not die from infection first.

While Zuko is unconscious, Iroh makes quick work of finding them a ship, gathering a crew who would be loyal to _him_ and not Ozai, better to avoid his little spies and ruin the beginning of the plans Iroh was making. Ozai has just made his last mistake. If he does not want a son, he no longer has one. Iroh will not lose another child in this senseless violence.

For the first time since Lu Ten’s death, Iroh feels _alive_.

* * *

Once Zuko awakens however, he begins to see that the wall Zuko had placed between them, between anything that contradicts the image he has of his father and the love he imagines Ozai has for him, might just be _harder_ to breach then the walls of Ba Sing Se. At least with the Earth Kingdom, he had no reason to be as... Gentle... Has this fight is going to be. Nor as subtle, because the second Zuko thinks Iroh is trying to keep him from his father, he’ll shut the door of his life hard in Iroh’s face, never to be opened to him again.

And that is a risk he will _not_ take. He will not lose anyone else.

Though, he can admit in the safety of his own mind, it _hurts_ to hear the angry words that Zuko throws at him constantly. He knows the boy does not mean them, knows even that it is because Zuko feels safe enough with him that he can vent frustrations and anger and worry to him, and knows he will not be punished for it. But to have one he sees as a son, someone who not weeks prior had looked at him with such awe and respect, had seen a beloved uncle who only wanted what was best for him, to have him now see Iroh as an _obstacle_ , someone below notice and useless, who’s kindness and love is nothing more than a ruse to make him weak. 

It breaks his heart. And fills the cracks with rage, because Ozai is turning his son into something he is _not_. Has made it so one so young is not a child, but a simple Pai Sho piece to be moved around the board at Ozai leisure. And worse, he is a piece to be _sacrificed_ while Azula is shaping up to be Ozai’s winning move.

Had Ozai’s _brainwashing_ not been set in so deeply, had she shown even the slightest light in being open to getting away from Ozai’s schemes, Iroh would have _found_ a way to take her with them. Any way. Because she’s so _young_ , and with no Ursa, no Zuko, no Iroh, she has _no one_ to show her the right path. The righteous path. But in the end, Iroh can only save one, and Zuko was the only one to show he would be open to such things. Even if it was not obvious.

The only _good_ thing about Ozai making his impossible quest to find the Avatar is that it gives them an excuse to travel to many places. Many places effected by the _war_ that, eventually, will pull at the gentle heart Zuko has been trying so hard to smother since he woke on the Wani. Eventually, he would notice that no one sees _greatness_ they see people's blood, and tears, and mothers torn away from children who should be laughing and playing, not wondering where or when their next meal will come from.

He has time. He can work slow, and simply start by getting Zuko’s firebending back up to what it _could_ have been, if given the right instruction. Can start by being a safe outlet, and by being there when the nights refuse to give a peaceful sleep, and though Zuko refuses to tell him what his nightmares are about, the shaking hand that reaches for his scar that he doesn’t seem to notice tells him everything he needs to know.

He has time, he can let Zuko heal. And then, _only_ then, will he undo the damage their nation, his _father_ has done. And they can begin putting the world back the way it’s supposed to be _together_.

* * *

This is punishment for Ba Sing Se. He knows it. There is no _other explanation_ on why the Avatar shows up _right_ in front of them. Couldn’t have stayed in hiding until _after_ they had resailed towards the Earth Kingdom. The spirits are testing him -- because he _refuses_ to believe they are testing **Zuko** \-- and now, now is a test on if he will actually manage to save his second son, or if he wasted the second chance given to him.

And that the Avatar is a mere child, only one year younger than Zuko had been when Ozai cast him out in the most brutal way possible, and Iroh can not understand how Zuko does not _see_ it. See how if he takes this young boy and hands him over, he will suffer a mark just as Zuko did, if Ozai even lets the boy live that long. But then, he wonders if Zuko had thought past the **going** **home** part, and has given no thought to what would happen to the Avatar afterwards. What it would do to his _consciences_ when it finally becomes clear what he’s doomed this child to. It would be exactly like his nephew not to think of the Big Picture, and only focus on the immediate action that finding the Avatar achieves.

And as they sail away from the South Pole, and Iroh leaves down to his room he worries. Because unless a miracle happens, he is going to be forced to make a choice. Stay silent as the Avatar, the worlds _last hope_ , is given over to his brother and have to witness whatever horrors Ozai decides to inflict on him. Or if he will help the child escape, and solidify his traitor statis and _lose_ Zuko forever. Possibly, in more ways then the obvious. Because if Ozai truely wants Zuko gone for good as Iroh expects, it's completely possible that Ozai will take this as an opportunity to have every single person on this ship executed for treason if Iroh acts. Because the soldiers are loyal to Iroh, not Ozai, and what better way to deal with potential threats of being over throned than a smeared reputation.

To choose his loyal men and beloved nephew or the worlds one hope and the rest of the world along side him? The spirits truly are testing him, and he knows, this is not one he can afford to fail. No matter the wounds his heart will take.

Fortunately, it appears that the Avatars luck is not quite as bad as his own, and his companions have come to rescue him. They manage to get away, and while their ship is badly damaged, no one was killed.

He does not have to make a decision just yet. He has more time. He is grateful.

But now, now he must play a tightrope game of both subtly moving Zuko away from his quest, away to more peaceful life -- which would have probably gone a lot smoother had Zhao not decided he was going to press every single one of Zuko’s buttons for his own cruel entertainment. Even _after_ being thoroughly defeated by Zuko during their Agni Kai -- while also encouraging Zuko that “ _yes nephew of course you can catch the Avatar. You must not lose hope before the flames have officially been doused_ ” and stopping the crew from mutiny in any way possible.

He has to stand back, and watch as Zuko places himself in danger over, and over, and over, and _over_ again. All for the sake of this mission. Taking on Zhao, pirates, giant moles who can _paralyze_ you, Earth Kingdom soldiers who -- while no match for them together -- Iroh would still have preferred been avoided.

And that danger, all comes to a head at the North Pole. Zhao takes their crew, Zuko is disheartened and feels hope is lost. And Iroh knows, knows that he can not push or Zuko would push him farther away as he sinks into despair on his own. Constantly thinking he must do everything _alone_. So Iroh leaves, lets him wallow in his room and makes plans on how to talk to him tomorrow, when hopefully this will all have sunk in enough for Zuko to be open to his uncles guidance.

**_Boom!_ **

He should have pushed.

He rushed back to the harbor, hopes with everything he has, that he has not failed _again_. That he has not lost _another_ son to this war.

When he gets there, all he sees is fire, and rubble, and ash. No body. All he hears is the cackling of the flames, to sound of metal groaning as it melts and breaks under the flames, the sound of objects falling into the water. No screams, no calls for help, no swearing or sounds of water moving as there would be had Zuko been conscience and swimming back to shore on his own.

He bows his head, and curses to himself. This should not have happened. He should have knew Zhao would not leave well enough alone, and he _knew_ that this was the result of Zhao. No other person has the animosity for his nephew the way he does, save only perhaps the Avatar himself, and even he would not have use means like this to deal with an enemy.

If Zhao wanted an easy victory, he made the gravest mistake in getting there. Because with out Zuko, without any reason to hold back in the effort to protect him, The Dragon of the West no longer has reason to stifle his fire or to shed his claws. Zhao will learn this the hard way.

_**Splash!** Gasp! Cough cough!_

Iroh’s head shoots up, scans the ocean front for signs of movement. Metal, metal, cloth, metal, something pale holding fast to a piece of what seemed to have been the ladder. There! Iroh rushes over, calls Zuko to him, begins to pull at his robes in case Zuko is not strong or oriented enough to swim to him, to keep hold of the only thing keeping him afloat.

Thank the spirits, he has not failed yet. He’s still here, Iroh still has time, he was still _here_. He can not afford to cry, in relief or otherwise, not until Zuko is safely out of the water, is given care for the wounds he undoubtedly has, is not there to wonder in confusion on why Iroh would possibly be crying over him, feeding into his anger at his brother at the scars he had left on his son.

He still had time.

It takes Zuko no time at all to decide the only option is to stow away on Zhao’s ship, and simply steal a boat to break into the fortress himself. No thought given to how he’s going to hide given Zhao checks everything rigorously, or on how exactly he’s going to break in without being caught by the Water Tribe’s waterbenders that are patrolling the wall, or how he’s going to get the Avatar _out_ without being noticed and fought by all the waterbenders plus the Avatar and his companions. Needless to say, also no thought given to the fact his body is already been pushed to the limits just by keeping him alive after that explosion, and that one attack gone wrong can end it for good.

Iroh knows that any attempt to ask him to stop and think of these problems will only fall on deaf ears, so he does what he always does. Tries to help plan enough to get him through. Unfortunately this time, he can only plan so far as to how he’s getting on Zhao’s ship, and how to keep him hidden. If Zhao finds him here, at least he’ll have back up.

And when it comes time for Zuko to leave, Iroh can not stop himself from admitting that he views him as his own. Because while he prays that this will not be the last time he ever sees his nephew, he will not leave the same regrets he had about Lu Ten. He will make sure Zuko knows that he is loved, that someone cares, and Iroh will have at least been able to say goodbye.  
He worries, and Zuko is always in the back of his mind, especially as when he gets to the glade and sees the Avatar and his friends, but no Zuko. Worries on if Zuko had even made it inside, worries if he is being kept prisoner if he was captured, worried that he is _dead_ because he was an easy target to unleash their anger at the Fire Nation on.

But as much as that worries him, right now he has to put an end to Zhao’s vanity project. He has to find a way to save the Moon Spirit, before Zhao’s actions lead to _all_ of their deaths. Because of all the borderline reckless plans Iroh has known Zhao to have, some on par with _Zuko’s_ level of recklessness and lack of self preservation, none have been _this_ crazy. Everyone knows you do not mess with the spirits. Especially not ones who have a giant impact on the **entire world** like the Moon Spirit does.

But, as is his current record, he _fails_. Zhao kills the spirit. Then runs like a coward as Iroh makes good on his threat to do 10 times worse onto him. As the last of the soldiers fall -- or get away for those who cut their loses and ran, knowing they stood no chance against the Dragon of the West. And while they couldn't go home, not without facing his brother for abounding their mission and disobeying his direct orders, they would at least be alive to make a life elsewhere -- he turns to see the white haired girl making her way to the pool.

And she glows! She had been touched by the spirits, and was giving life given back to the source. When this battle was over, Iroh would have to make certain to pay respects for the young girl’s sacrifice. Not many would be so selfless in such a desperate time.

He thinks again of Zuko, of the damned day three years ago, and wonders why it is always the _young_ who must pay the price for the older generations greed and power plays. Why the _young_ must be the saviors, the ones who care for those around them, be willing to place their _own_ lives on the line when the ones who _started_ this mess sit back and watch as the world tears itself to shreds.

It’s disgraceful.

Watching as the Avatar merges with the Ocean Spirit, he takes that as a very good cue that it’s time to find Zuko and get as far away from his as possible. Because while neither he nor Zuko had anything to do with the Moon Spirit’s death, they’re still Fire Nation and spirits aren’t known for being picky. Especially so when they are justifiably angered.

It takes little time to secure a raft, and he finds Zuko on the edge of a wall, staring shell shocked into the water. Shell shocked, and horror, both showing he’d seen things Iroh had hoped, had _wished_ , no one so young would have to see. But he would have to wring the story of exactly what happened out of him later. They are smack dab in the middle of enemy territory, and while Iroh helped take on some of the soldiers, he knew it would not stop them from killing them both should they be found here.

He grabs Zuko’s shoulder, and worries when he barely twitches when normally he would jolt at an unexpected touch, and gently couched him down from his perch and dragged him along towards the raft. It wasn’t much, not in room and nothing in terms of food or water, and he knew they were in for a rough patch.

Having to sail past the bodies in the water, knowing _this_ is the Avatar’s power when unleashed and this was what Zuko was _constantly_ putting himself up against, just solidifies his resolve that he _must_ make Zuko see reason. On this war, on their nation, on his **father**. Because he may still have time, he knows - the count down has started. And it’s going fast.

* * *

Granted, he was not expecting Azula.

It was a _rookie_ mistake. Iroh should have expected after the circus at the North Pole that Ozai would begin to work on getting them both out of the way. He’d already _had_ been, just not nearly as public as Iroh had been beloved and respected by the people. But after word got out that he had protect the Moon Spirit, despite the fact that he was protecting his _home_ just as much as the Water Tribe, to the Fire Nation at large? They would just see it as him being on the waterbenders side.

And with word getting around about the Avatar’s adventure’s -- about all the _victories_ he’s managed and the mockery he’s made of the Fire Nation’s army, about all the ways Zuko has _failed_ in capturing him -- it was obvious that Ozai would take the chance to publicly humiliate Zuko. To cast blame at _his_ feet, and draw attention away from the fact that no other Fire Nation solider had managed to capture him either.

But of all people he would have expected Ozai to send after them, strangely Azula had never crossed his mind. She was so _young_ when they had left. Seeing her now, after three years of constant attention from Ozai, three years of moulding her into what he wants her to be, with no one there to show that there are _other_ ways to be. It **_hurts_**. It hurts to see her so distorted, so twisted, so... so... so _Ozai_.

She proves it with every word, every calculated move and gesture. Because Azula has always managed to know just which buttons to push. But now? Now she is an _expert_. Knows exactly what to say to make Zuko believe her every word. How to say it with enough sincerity that Zuko, despite the mantra that Iroh used to hear when the boy slept about how she always lies, soaks up every word. 

So he tosses aside Iroh’s worries, willfully blind by the promise of everything he’s longed for. No matter that surely he must know, anything that sounds too good to be true undoubtedly is. He packs, and he dreams, and he talks of all the things from the Fire Nation that he’s missed these three years, and Iroh’s heart breaks on every word.

And he leaves. Is perfectly willing to leave him here, and go back into the lion-tigers den alone. Iroh rushes to pack the very few belongings he has, and catches up. Because while he hopes he is wrong -- that _if_ Ozai has miraculously decided his son has value, at least Iroh will still be there in case Ozai has _another_ change of heart down the line. And so, while a lot more subtly than he had planned after his revelation at the North Pole, he can still work on showing Zuko the _truth_ of all that the Fire Nation has done to the world -- if he’s proven right, he’ll be there to back him up, and they’ll both be able to escape right away.

Fortunately, Azula had not trained these men to keep secrets very well, and they learn the truth before they ever fully step foot on the ship. Well, that _would_ have been fortunate had Zuko not flown into a rage and decide that instead of escaping, he’s going to challenge his sister then and there. Had anyone still been _on_ the ship, they could have easily used that as a distraction as they set sail, and Zuko would have _no where to go_ , and would he exactly what Azula had planned for him to be.

A prisoner.

He makes quick work of the remaining foot men, and rushes on board to grab Zuko and run when he sees Azula making the motions to fire lightning.

And had this been two years prior, he would have froze. His heart would have stopped, and he wouldn't have been able to breathe. Because while he did not lose Lu Ten to fire nor lighting, it was still too soon to even _contemplate_ losing another. No matter the murder weapon.

As it is, he rushed foreward, grabs her hand just as she’s jolting it foreward to release her attack and sends the bolt away from the ship. And kicks her overboard so that she does not have the chance to have a do over at their turned backs.

After they are far enough away to catch their breaths safely, and have made quick work of cutting their top knots, Iroh can only imagine the ramifications this will have. Because while he _wants_ to turn Zuko towards the right path he knows, now that Zuko has been branded a traitor he’ll stick closer and closer to his ideals as he possibly can.

Obviously, Ozai just loves to make both of their lives as difficult as possible.

* * *

You learn a lot about a man once they have nothing to lose. Take their home, their possessions, their dignity, and what’s left is the heart. And Iroh is conflicted on what he sees of his nephews heart.

Because on one hand, he has taken on a protector’s role. Trying to find food and a place to stay out of the rain and is doing his up most to provide for them both, even though that should be Iroh’s role as his guardian at the moment. And that, that is good because it shows that Zuko still has that caring heart that got him locked into this situation in the first place. But on the other hand, his _methods_ , the stealing and taking advantage of others kindness, that shows a _different_ picture. In that, while he still has that caring heart, he is still trying to **bury** it, and so is only willing to use it for those he cares for. Not the strangers that he defended so readily years ago. And that’s distressing.

He knew that Zuko would hold tight to the ideals that his father had placed in him, no matter that he’s obviously turned his back on him, but he never thought he would stoop so low as to steal from others. Would have thought at least the boys pride would keep him from going so far, seeing as being a _thief_ is hardly the behavior of a _Prince_ that he’s holding so tight to.

But then, he suppose that makes sense given Zuko is beginning to lose _hope_. No hope in finding the Avatar, no hope in going home, and no hope on earning that which should not _need_ to be earned in the first place. And while Iroh wants to take this as an opportunity to gently begin guiding Zuko along the path of peace, he knows the boy is far too lost in a shroud of darkness. 

Ever since they escaped from Azula, and it became obvious that they were considered traitors, it was as if Iroh was having to start from scratch, and that Zuko had reverted right back to the scared angry boy he’d been after awaking from the Agni Kai. Only now, with no place for it to go, all those emotions are flowing _inwards_ and are slowly tearing Zuko to shreds.

But never once has he considered the possibility that he would want to set out on his own. After telling him that there was always something to look forward to, now the boy is saying that their paths do not aline?

Again, Iroh feels his heart crack.

But he does not stop him. Does not make protest or argue with him. Just hands him the Ostrich-Horse, and let's him make his own way. Because while he may not agree with it, he knows this may be what Zuko _needs_ to see the bigger picture. That, perhaps, without his esteemed uncle always over head, always having a reason -- no matter how misguided -- of having to be on guard and showing constant support for his father as if Iroh were going to turn around and _tell_ Ozai the second a disagreement against him was said, he can more easily interact with the people of the Earth Kingdom. Be more willing to hear their side of the story, hear the horrors done to them by the Fire Nation, to know what the world _truely_ thinks of them and their reasons for war.

And knows he’ll be following not far behind, just in case. Because while he knows Zuko may need room alone to grow, he also knows that his nephew is reckless enough to get in over his head. And his pride is not worth his life.

* * *

Of course, what ends up reuniting them is the very thing that sent them spiraling in the first place. Another fight with Azula. With the added twist of the Avatar and friends! He wishes the situation was not so tense, he would very much enjoy chuckling at the irony that what it would take to get his nephew to ignore his quest would be to stick his sister into the situation.

Fortunately, this fight seems to be going a lot more favorably then last time. Azula is cornered, with none of her allies, and...

The blind girl is with the Avatar! Fates really do love to mess with him. Though granted, he still would have made her tea and given the same advice, but it’s the principal of the matter.

He only takes his eyes off her for a minute, but that one minute is all she needs. Azula shoots him, and he hears Zuko’s gasp of distress before the darkness claims him.

* * *

He awakens in an abandoned hut, Zuko vigilant at his side looking as though he had stood watch the entire time he was out. Not resting a second. Most likely not even leaving his side other than for when nature calls.

Stubborn child. Loveable, gentle, _stubborn_ child. Iroh feels his heart swell, and at the same time feel the worry set in.

Unsurprisingly, it takes no time at all for Zuko to want to begin again learning more advance sets. Learning to use **lightning** like him, like Azula, like his _father_. And all day, he watches as explosion after explosion happens as he fails. Just as he suspected he might. Too much strive, too much pent up emotion, too much anguish. Not enough peace of mind.

And peace of mind, unfortunately, is not something he can teach Zuko how to achieve. No matter how much he wished he could.

There is however something else he _can_ teach him. Something that, in the long run, could very well save his life given the path he was currently on. He can teach him how to catch his father and sister’s favorite weapon, and how to throw it as far from himself as possible.

He teaches him to redirect lightning.

Teaches him how the four elements are used. How, in a skilled enough bender, using the styles from other bending can ingress your own beyond measure. How it achieves balance not just to the world, but can bring balance to yourself. But only if you open your mind and _allow_ it to. So long as you don’t just listen to hear words but understand ideals.

Only time will tell if he takes this wisdom to heart.

He picks up the movements quickly, seems to absorb the message Iroh is trying to send to him. And Iroh couldn’t be prouder. 

Until he says he’s ready to _test it out_. The simple fact that he **actually** thought he would fire lightning at him, no doubt imagining his father or sister who would do so gladly while also hoping that he has _not_ mastered the technique, was devastating. Iroh couldn't tell if it was pride in his abilities, trust in Iroh, or just plain thoughtlessness on the millions of ways that could go wrong and the implications of what Iroh going through with it would be.

Because if Zuko had _not_ perfected it, had he been too eager to try something he was not fully prepared for, then Iroh would have personally been executioner of his remaining child. And that? That he does not think he could ever recover from. Does not think he would ever bring himself to smile again.

And he can admit to himself as Zuko walks off in a huff, that he hopes Zuko _never_ has to use this technique. That though Azula _has_ tried it once before, that neither she nor Ozai is ever given the chance to take the opportunity again.

It’s a vain hope, but Iroh knows it can pay to be optimistic.

* * *

It’s not long after he returns that they decide to head out the next day. Staying in one place for too long will do nothing but invite trouble to come find them.

That doesn’t mean that Iroh is happy about constantly having his arm jostled though. The uneven ground along with the Ostrich-Horse’s steps being more jumping then Iroh thinks is completely unnecessary, and his arm feels as though pins are constantly stabbing into him. But of course, the second they stop for a rest -- let alone to set up camp for the night -- they’re attacked and have to make their escape. Again.

If any good had to come from it though, at least it’s the opening it gives him to get the Order of the White Lotus involved without rasing suspicion from Zuko. And while he isn’t sure yet _where_ he have them sent, he can at least make sure it would be the last place Azula -- or Ozai should he think Azula is not completing her task quickly enough -- would ever think to find them.

And before the door is even shut, leaving Zuko to wait, Iroh knows the only option available would be Ba Sing Se. And he hopes to the Spirits that unlike last time, he does not have to lose _more_ of his heart there.

The White Lotus moves as fast as ever, and before he knows it he and Zuko are on the ferry to Ba Sing Se. And he tries to lift Zuko’s spirits, show that while this is by no means the life he may have wanted, it could still _be_ a life.

Which, yes, probably would have gone a bit smoother had the food not tasted of slush. Spoiled slush at that. But that wasn’t a good enough reason to resort back to thievery, something Iroh had hoped Zuko had gotten out of his system by time they had reunited. But all I takes is the suave talk of that one boy, and he’s got his nephew eating out of the palm of his hand.

A suave, angry boy. Who’s eyes are hard, though it is clear he is trying to hide it. One who has clearly felt the war in a deeply, and has buried everything about it. Centered it in a single, dark place that should he not be careful with it, shall easily consume him.

Iroh does not have a good feeling about this. And if he’s learned anything throughout his long life, it is that trusting one’s instincts can save your life. Even in ways you aren’t expecting.

So when he sees the boy pull Zuko aside, Iroh takes a small risk. He makes a fuss about his tea, makes sure it would be load enough that no one would have been able to miss it. And while Zuko is talking, he firebends his tea, smoke clearly rising from its cup. If he’s right, and that young man has enough pain, enough _hatred_ in his heart because of the war and the marks left on him, then _this_ would detour any attempt at trying to subtly manipulate Zuko to his own ends. Also a small enough risk that, to anyone who wants no more trouble, wants nothing more than to forget the war in any way they can, will think nothing more than he had simply gotten another cup and that Ba Sing Se is as safe a refuge as it’s always been.

Because it is a slippery slope, that once you think one firebender has managed to sneak their way in, no matter their reasons, then people will undoubtedly be paranoid that _anyone_ could be Fire Nation, and that everyone you don’t know -- even some you _do_ know if you think you don't know them _enough_ \-- could be a threat to you. Because what other reason could firebenders be in the city for if not to spy, and slowly destroy it from the inside out?

He sees the boy’s glare from the corner of his eye as Zuko slaps the cup from his hand. An instinctive action Iroh would have to train out of him, such a move only brings _more_ attention to a situation, which can be deadly in enemy territory. But that's for another day, and if anything, only gives credit to the boy's suspicion. Now what he does next will show if Iroh had made the right call.

Seeing as he doubts the boy will do anything immediately, Iroh makes short work of finding them a roof over their heads, and work to keep them fed. Zuko’s face upon learning that work would be done in a tea shop, well... Iroh would be lying if he said it wasn't a _little_ amusing. Besides, other than his simple love for it, he could only see this as being a _good_ thing for Zuko. If to teach him patience if nothing else. 

Though Iroh hopes that it also eventually teaches him to _slow_ _down_ and just relax, enjoy the moment and not stress on what must come next. But that, that is a problem that will take time. And as Iroh has come to realize, time is something that is simply not on their side.

But he _will_ show him the wonders of tea, just for it’s own sake. Because _hot leave juice_. Honestly, Iroh had never heard such a horrible thing said about tea. It was all in how it was made!

It’s a week later when it shows Iroh had indeed played the right call. The young man from the ferry burst in, swords drawn, and shouts for the whole job to hear that they’re Fire Nation. With only his firebending at the station as his proof. And he thinks this proof would fly in a teashop, while giving no indication that this happened _outside_ Ba Sing Se.

Not his smartest move if he was trying to get them captured.

What was also not a smart move is attacking two people who you have no evidence against, in front of two guards, in a city that is doing its upmost to pretend their isn’t any war at all going on. And while Iroh is perfectly happy to let the guards deal with the boy, Zuko... clearly isn’t.

 _Sigh_. No, his nephew decides the best course of action is to steal the swords of the guard who was about to intervene, and simply fight Jet himself. As usual, giving no thought on how doing so may effect _them_ in the long run. Because while Jet may have started the altercation, they may not be lenient to _anyone_ who is causing a disturbance so they may very well arrest them _both_. Then what is he to do? Breaking him out would mean having to leave the only place they have any sense of security. The _only_ place where the Fire Nation would not think to look for them.

Not to say Iroh _wouldn't_ do it, in a heartbeat, if it was to keep Zuko safe. It would just make their lives significantly more difficult. And there was only so much help the Order can give them.

Fortunately it did not come to that, and the young man was taken away by... guards? Special forces? Iroh isn’t sure what exactly they were, but given the respect the guards gave along with the rather... _conspicuous_... outfit, he knew they were not ones to take lightly. And for the remainder of their stay here in Ba Sing Se, they would be the ones to keep an eye on. Because if anyone would figure out they were not who they say they are, and would do _something_ about it, would be these men.

He’ll have to let Zuko know of his suspicions. And that it would be better if the Dao swords stayed as hidden under their floor boards as possible and to avoid any... ninja-like... behaviour for the forseeable future.

He’ll also have to make sure Zuko knew that it was not their fault that this occured. And that whatever happens to that boy, it happened because he could not leave well enough alone. And see when it would be better to relent, and gather more evidence to support his claims at a later date. And not realizing, or not _caring_ , that attacking guards is not a reasonable tactic if he was hoping to convince them he was not just a raging paranoid child.

That, at least, seems like it would be a easier battle.

* * *

Two weeks after the incident with Jet, things seem to settle. Zuko still gets jumpy from time to time, the fight leaving him suspicious of anyone who sticks around too long. Who shows any interest in getting to know either of them. But Iroh does nothing to discourage this, for while he wishes Zuko could make bonds here, with those special forces around, it pays to be cautious. He just wished his nephew wasn’t quite as _obvious_ about doing so as he is. For suspicion given is suspicion gained.

In which point, being cautious was useless.

But those men never return, and the regular patrons seem to regard Zuko’s attitude as either normal teenage moodiness, or as a normal reaction as a refugee. Most likely thinking he would mellow out as he got used to Ba Sing Se, stopped moving from place to place always wondering if the Fire Nation would attack where ever they were staying and worried on where their next meal would be. When he realized he could settle, and just _be_. Get used to a sense of security. 

Unfortunately, as much as Iroh hopes it comes to past he can not see that happening any time soon. If for nothing else than his nephew as _never_ felt that sense of security. At least, not in anyway a child _should_. Because while Ursa did her best to shield him, and Iroh has done all he could theses three years, Ozai is as always an overbearing shadow. An axe always hanging over Zuko’s head, and he _knows_ it for all that he refuses to acknowledge it.

As the months slowly passes them by, and the anniversary of Lu Ten’s death comes and goes, Iroh decides that enough time has passed and that it was time for Zuko to at least _try_ to make a life here. Friends, a girlfriend, a _boy_ friend, hobbies, _anything_ that wasn’t work or moping around their apartment, constantly anguishing about the state of their lives.

And when Zuko brings his attention to the young girl who frequently visits the shop, he takes it as a sign that this is his opportunity to get Zuko out and about in the city. He accepts the date on Zuko’s behalf, and makes sure his nephew looks his _best_ for his date. Even if Jin is not the _one_ for him, and no feelings accur from this outing, then at least it will hopefully end with a new friend. Someone Zuko could talk to who _wasn’t_ his Uncle, and through her, make even **more** friends.

When Zuko stays out a little longer than Iroh had guessed he would, he had hoped that meant that it had gone well. That it may very well happen _again_. But then Zuko comes barging through the door, ignoring his question as he slams the door behind him. But just as Iroh worried he pushed too quickly, Zuko admits that he had a nice night.

And while Iroh doubts it will happen again, least of all with Jin if the way he first barged in was any indication, it gave Iroh hope that one day Zuko could, _would_ , be happy here.

With the new offer for their own tea shop, Iroh thinks this could only benefit them. That to get Zuko more used to their new life, that having a life more similar to the one he was forced to leave behind would show that not all was lost.

But then Zuko found that spirits damned _poster_. Knows the Avatar is in the city, just a fingers grasp away from capture. Knows that he has a chance, no matter how slim, or dangerous, or futile, to reclaim everything. And after following him through these maze like caverns, enough is enough.

Iroh tells him _exactly_ what he has held back all these three years. That he does not need to follow the path his father carved out for him. That he can make his own destiny, and be even _happier_ for it. To grow and be the man Iroh knows he is, and make his _own_ choices, biased on his **own** morality and not the one the Fire Nation has shoved repeatedly down his throat all his life.

And he _**listened**_. He let the bison go free, threw away the mask and with it, the attachment to shield his true self.

And Iroh knows, even as Zuko collapses as soon as they arrive back home, that this is the turning point to the end. Time is running out, and _finally_ , Iroh believes that Zuko is ready to make the right choice.

When Zuko awakens, and seems at _peace_ , Iroh feels for the first time since Lu Ten’s passing a sense of peace. Of rightness.

Things are going to be alright, he can _feel_ it.

* * *

And then they are called to serve before the Earth King.

Iroh doesn’t think much of it, figures that with all the high ranking visitors the Jasmine Dragon has received since their opening that one of them must have told the King about them. Had thought -- perhaps foolishly, _naively_ \-- that this was just another hit of proof that their fortune was finally turning their way. That destiny was smiling on them, even if but a little.

But of course, Ozai shows his overbearing shadow once again in the shape of Azula. **How** she managed to smuggle her way into the city Iroh couldn’t imagine. Especially seeing as they had only managed it through the White Lotus’s methods, and while Azula is no doubt resourceful, Iroh would give up tea than think she had connections that far reaching.

It does not take much to cause enough of a distraction to bust through a wall so they may make their get away. And it pains Iroh’s heart that with all the progress that Zuko had made, with the life they were _finally_ settling into, they were once again being forced to flee. Being forced to make a new start elsewhere, though the number of places free from the Fire Nation’s influence is dwindling fast.

Though it seems worrying about it was pointless, seeing as Zuko decided _now_ would be the **perfect** time to face his sister head on. With no backup. _After_ seeing that she has backup of her own in the form of a squadron of master earthbenders.

Just when Iroh thought Zuko was starting to think things through, he pulls _this_ stunt. Now he has to find a way back inside, and hope they are all still there -- that Zuko somehow manages to stall them long enough for him to reach them -- and then _drag_ his nephew away the very second there is an opening.

He’s too old for these stunts, the boy is going to give him a _heart_ _attack_ one of these days. Especially when it becomes apparent that they are long gone by time he manages to get back to where he left him. And with no scorch marks it’s obvious that Azula gave him no time to attack, and did not attack herself, and simply had her pet earthbenders do the fighting for her. The only thing keeping him from panic is that there are no blood stains, so hopefully that means he wasn’t crushed.

Knowing Azula, she most likely has taken him captive and is planning to take him back to the Fire Nation to let Ozai do the killing. Just to twist the knife in his wounds of the obviousness of Ozai’s lack of love, for one final time.

Unfortunately for her, Iroh does not give up that easily. 

It takes little time to find a lone Dai Li agent, and a simple threat to get the man talking. Though it was unfortunate that Iroh could not tell for certain if he was telling the truth, or if he was telling lies in hopes that he can escape both Iroh _and_ Azula’s punishment. But luckily, he has an answer for that as well.

The only question is, what will he have to do to get them to agree to help him?

* * *

The young earthbender he’d shared tea and advice with not that long ago -- along with the fact that their young waterbending friend had gone missing as well, undoubtedly at the hands of Azula and her new minions -- went a long way in convincing them to help him find Zuko. No matter their very... understandable... reservations on going anywhere near him. Now the only thing he has to hope for, other than them both being unharmed and still in the city by time they get underground, is that they’re being kept in the same place and that Azula does not move them in an effort to make them harder to locate. Or even to make sure they don’t join forces _themselves_ in a brief truce to escape her clutches.

Because if they _weren’t_ in the same place, or anywhere near each other, than the Avatar and his friends may very well leave the city the second she’s found and Iroh will have to take his chances to find Zuko himself. After all, the longer the Avatar stays here, the longer Azula has to come up with a plan to trap him, if she has not come up with one already.

The worry does not however stop him from giving the young Avatar advice when he asks for it. After all, it is not everyday that young people _willingly_ seek out advice. It is normally something that has to be given in sporadic spurts, and most of the time, no matter how good the wisdom in it, it goes ignored until a situation blows up in their face when, had they followed it it would have gone very differently.

Actually... That may just be a **_Zuko_** thing. Lu Ten had had his little temperaments, had to some times have lessons Iroh had tried to teach him forced on him the hard way before he learned the lesson. But that was rare, and usually he had listened to his father’s wisdom, and not fought him on every thing that he tried to say that contradicted his view of life.

Regardless, the Avatar takes his words in good grace and they finally reach their destination. And the spirits shine on him, for both Zuko and the waterbending girl _were_ being held in the same place. Iroh rushes to hug Zuko close, heart in throat seeing him uninjured. While he held hope that Azula would much prefer their father to cause any future damage to Zuko, there was always that _slight_ chance that she would simply kill him off, and say it was just a casualty of battle.

And Ozai would most likely be all more happy had that actually been the case.

As the Avatar and his friend leave Iroh knows _this_ is the pin point of turning Zuko towards the light. That this is when they begin to right their families wrongs, **together**. Ba Sing Se is lost, and with no safe place to take refuge now, Zuko would have to see that this was their best option.

He _had_ to.

Even when Azula shows up again, and has her earthbenders trap him, he still believes full heartedly that Zuko _will_ make the right choice. After all that he’s seen, all the people he’s met who’ve been hurt by the war, he _has_ to see that Ozai’s approval is not _worth_ the suffering of the war. Not worth the suffering it would bring onto **himself**. Not worth the way it would change, would warp his very being.

Time is finally up. He’s waited and waited, taught and guided as much he could, and now it is up to Zuko on what happens next.

He believes, believes, believes...

And that is why it hurts that much more when he finally breaks loose just in time to see Azula strike down the Avatar, and the waterbender riding a wave over his nephew and Azula’s minions.

And that’s when he knows, time has not only run out for _Zuko’s_ decision, but on _his_ as well. He can no longer stand back, and watch as his family **blunders** through tragedy after tragedy. He leaps down, and joins the fight. He holds off his niece and nephew, holds off the earthbenders, and gives the young Katara enough time to escape with the Avatar, and hopes that in doing so, she may find a way to _save_ him.

Because with out the Avatar, this war will not end. Not without the entire world, and all it’s people, being destroyed with it.

The second they’ve made their escape, it is was obvious that the earthbenders could not follow them, Iroh surrenders. He has to fight his family, he knows this, but he also knows that first he must bide his time, and see if the Avatar is done for. Because depending on that answer, his course of action would change in two _very_ different ways. And... a little more selfishly... he wants more time to prepare himself to fight his family. To fight _Zuko_. Because this, them ever being on opposing sides, is something he _never_ thought would ever come to pass.

So when Zuko looks to him, whatever emotion he wears, Iroh turns away. He has made his decision, and he must bare the burden of it, alone. There is nothing else Iroh can do that could possibly show him the error of his ways.

It would seem Ba Sing Se and it’s curse has struck again. He’s lost another son to this city, even if one still breaths. In all, it only makes it more heartbreaking.

* * *

It’s not long that he’s being loaded on to a ship, being taken back to the Fire Nation as a prisoner. He half expects Ozai to have him executed on the spot, but then, his brother had never been so kind to a beaten man when he could prolong their misery by rubbing their failures in their faces.

And though he wishes he could stop himself, he can’t stop but wonder how Ozai took the news on Zuko’s return. How he reacted to the fact that his bid to rid himself of his only son had failed, _again_ , and that not only has he returned, but returned as a what the Fire Nation’s definition of a **hero**.

Wonders how Zuko is taking being back after so long. If, after getting what he’s longed for for so long, if he’s finally happy. Finally at _peace_ with himself. Somehow, Iroh doubts it. But then, seeing as they’re here at all, he apparently does not know his nephew as well as he had always thought he had.

It’s a sobering thought.

Weeks pass, and Zuko comes to visit.

He brings with him anger and denial. Hurt and betrayal. Everything but the happiness and peace that he had hoped to acquire once back home. And it breaks Iroh’s heart, that even _now_ Zuko still sees that as something wrong with _him_ , a problem that he is creating and is now trying to force himself into what he thought he wanted, and is getting nothing but confusion and frustration at the efforts.

And though it breaks Iroh’s heart, and he wishes nothing more than to bring light to his situation, bring him any sort of comfort he could, he holds his silence.

He keeps his wisdom, his compassion, his knowledge, his **hurt** deep in his chest. Zuko has thrown them all away once, and even though if he thought for a single _second_ that any thing he said or did might get through he would in a heart beat, Zuko is still too busy looking for answers that aline with his world view, answers that make sense of what his father and nation do.

He still would not accept any other alternative. And at this point, when he refuses to listen, all his words would do is reinforce his desire to defend his father. Would just give him an excuse to redirect his anger at anyone other than the one who truly _deserves_ it.

And that is something he can no longer condone. Can no longer enable.

It is not until he comes looking for _true_ answers that he finally breaks his peace. But only once Zuko has made an effort to find those answers _himself_. When he goes looking for the truth of Sozin and Roku’s past, even if it **_was_** his plan intently, he shows that he is finally cracking. That he is considering _other_ paths other than the ones lied out before. Other than the easiest path, the one that he had never walked before and has finally begun to realize is what has made him _strong_.

Iroh thinks to himself as Zuko leaves, “ _I’m sorry my nephew. I know you did not ask for this destiny to be pressed upon you. No one would ever ask for such a thing. But it is the destiny you have, and it is up to you which side you land on. I just hope you realize, you do not have to carry what Sozin and my father and **your** father have handed down to you_”

But even then, it is clear that he does not wish to throw away all he’s worked for. That even though he’s learned that Sozin is _not_ the only legacy open to him, it is still the only one he thinks is _expected_ , is respected, and all that binds him to his father. No matter that he has begun to see that which is the _right_ path, still he wants nothing more to cling to what he knows. Does not want to make the hard, irreversible choice.

And as much as Iroh wished he could be frustrated at that, he can not. For he himself is still holding out hope for Zuko to realize what he is supposed to be. Still he has not acted against Ozai in any physical manner for he knows it would drive Zuko away for good. Has kept silent and played shadow games for three years in an effort to hold close the last remaining family he has.

But as the eclipse grows nearer he knows, that day will be the reckoning, and whatever side you land on is where he must draw the line. If Zuko still has not seen the light by then, Iroh must give up hope and leave to fight for what he _knows_ must be done.

So he waits, and he waits, and waits, and waits.

Zuko never shows.

The eclipse is upon them.

He can not wait any longer. 

As he fights his way out of the prison, and makes his escape the only thing that he has left to hope for is that he does not have to face Zuko himself on the battle field as he retakes Ba Sing Se, and that the Avatar does not kill him along side his father and Azula should he be placed at their side when the comet arrives. Hopes that after the comet is gone, and his brother and niece are dealt with and the Fire Nation is defeated that he will have those years he thought he would have to rehabilitate Zuko. That as Fire Lord, he will protect the boy, even from himself.

He ignores the tears that falls from his eyes. For he knows, Zuko has never stopped fighting and nothing short of killing him will stop him.

* * *

As he begins meeting with the Order he tries in vain to put Zuko out of mind.

Tries not to think about what he was doing during the eclipse, if he had helped Azula distract the Avatar and his mini army to protect his father, if one of the Avatar’s allies had killed him in retaliation. Tries not to worry that he is injured or dead or -- and given how much he doubts that the Avatar managed to _find_ Ozai let alone fight him -- if he was being punished by his father for the Avatar being alive, because he would be a far more convenient scapegoat than Azula.

Tries not to think about if Zuko even noticed if he escaped. If he thought Iroh was dead, or captured by the ones Zuko considered the enemy. Or, if he guessed right, and that Iroh escaped on his own to bring the Fire Nation down.

Tries not to wonder if Zuko would even _care_ if he died if that was the case.

It is not until one of the spies he had near the Fire Nation capital manages to contacts him does he learn that he is not the _only_ one to have escaped the Fire Nation that day. That Zuko had stolen a war ballon, and vanished while the soldiers were gathering the remains of the Avatars allies who remained stranded in the capital.

Tries to ignore the rising hope that Zuko is trying to find him, when it was just as likely this was a cover story his brother come up with for Zuko to retrack down the Avatar. To finish the job he was originally sent out to do, and may very well have been rebanished until it was completed.

Another thought to be put on a shelf, and pretend that he is not thinking on it heavily every spare moment he has.

He does not hear any news on him again until the strangest story passes one of the initiates lips,

“Yeah, they said apparently the Princess was called there to bring in the Prince. Why or how he was at the Boiling Rock was never mentioned, but they say he broke in. Which, obviously that part isn’t true because who brakes _in_ to the most impenetrable prison the Fire Nation has, for absolutely no reason?”

“There might be a reason. Rumor has it he teamed up with the Avatar, they may be looking for their allies that got captured at some point. Not that having a lot of people will mean much, especially if he’s attacking on the day of the comet. It would just be a _massacre_ , all those firebenders would barely have to try to beat them back. And that’s not mentioning the Fire Lord himself,” a young man, Iroh didn’t recall his name, said with a shake of the head. “No, this has got to be a cover up. If they say he broke in then obviously they didn’t fail at their jobs at containing him until the Princess arrived, that they didn’t have the right restraints or whatever excuse they decide to come up with.”

“He managed to escape before she showed up then? Man, I may not have a lot of sympathy for the bastards, but you know someone is dying for that. Probably the Warden, but really it might just be the whole lot.”

“Nah, I think he was escaping around when she got there? But I’m not _entirely_ sure since, like I said, I think they’re trying to keep everything hushed up. I mean, they may very well _have_ captured him, and are using this story to draw out sympathizers. That way Ozai can just execute the whole bunch of them.”

And it’s at that point that Iroh turns and heads straight back for his tent. He can’t stand to hear another word, not on hearsay and rumors. Not when he has no guarantee that Zuko is alright.

Iroh feels his heart **drop** , the last time Azula fought anyone, it almost landed in a child's death. And it’s no secret that she’s already tried to kill Zuko before. So no matter why he was there, wether he was captured or broke in, wether it be by order or by stupid reckless decision making that Zuko is all too prone to, Iroh knows he will not breath easy until he knows for sure that he managed to get away from Azula.

That he managed to break out of _the_ biggest prison the Fire Nation has, and that for **once** in his life, he had planned things through. That he at least had _some_ idea of a get away. Or, par that, if he really _was_ with the Avatar -- and that the Avatar and companions aren’t just pumping him for all the information they could and then leave Zuko to fight his sister alone as they make their escape, which Iroh could not entirely blame them for if it were the case -- that the Avatar has a sure fire way of leaving the volcano and have a place secure enough to where Azula can not easily find them.

He waits. Waits for news, wether it be the announcement of an execution or another risky borderline suicidal plan to show that Zuko had managed to get away.

Nothing comes.

His imagination runs from him. Zuko being held in prison, to be killed only _after_ the comet has passed to rub it in his face how much he failed. Zuko actually remaining in hiding, which Iroh wishes with all his heart to be true. Zuko _dead_ , with no news to come because his body had already been dealt with and forgotten.

And still, Iroh could do nothing but wait. He wishes he could find Zuko, but he hasn’t the slightest idea of where to start, and the world unfortunately, needs him more right now.

That does not make it any easier to breath. 

Piandao finally talks him into sleeping, that relooking over their plans relentlessly will do nothing to calm his worried mind. That he, more than anyone, should know that some calming tea and some sleep can only open the doors to a calm mind, which would lead to seeing solutions that were blinded to him in his concern.

Destiny has a funny way of proving it true.

As soon as he awakens, he notices the figure that had been sitting behind him. Zuko! Alive, and seemingly uninjured! Iroh wants nothing more than to jerk the boy into his arms, check every inch of him to make sure his sister had not left any lasting damage. Wants to make _himself_ feel at ease again, knowing that he had not lost his boy forever. Not again. Not yet.

But he can’t. Not now. Not after how they left off. Not when he’s not sure if Zuko would even accept his care. Because as much as it pains him to admit it, just because Zuko saw the error in his ways concerning the Avatar, did not mean that his opinion of his Uncle had changed.

Does not mean he doesn't feel the least bit betrayed, even if he _logically_ understands now. Because rational or not, Iroh _had_ put the Avatar and the world above him. And while he knew he had no choice, that it was either risk his relationship with his nephew or watch the world burn, that it was no choice at all. But that does not mean he can escape the possible consequences for it. He already knew that had Zuko not changed sides that Iroh would have had to become Fire Lord, and that the world -- especially the Earth Kingdom, who had to deal with his more shameful past the most -- would fight every decision he made. If for nothing else than to get back the power they felt they had lost while they had been at war.

Though that would always be preferable to losing Zuko. He would gladly sit and debate and coincide and wager with the other nations, would happily throw away the Fire Nations little respect they had for him by doing so, if it meant keeping Zuko in his life. 

But then -- then he hears Zuko start to _apologize_. He still wants him in his life. Regrets Ba Sing Se, and the treatment once the arrived home.

He’s in **tears**. Does not think Iroh would forgive him, would not continue to **_love_** him, no matter what he’s done. And while it causes his rage at Ozai to boil he sets it aside. There is nothing he can do about his brother, but he _can_ do something for his nephew.

He pulls him into the tightest hug he can, gives a sigh of relief knowing that -- at least for the moment -- Zuko is safe, and alive, and they were going to be okay. That for any decisions they both made in the past, they would get through it.

It takes everything in Iroh’s power not to let out a relived laugh, not wanting it to be misunderstood. Because now?

Now Iroh feels that he could do _anything_.

Watching Zuko interact with his new friends only enhanced that feeling. To know that not that long ago, they were all at each others throats. That there was no hope, or at least, it felt that hope was slowly eroding away. But now, now he can see the determination in their eyes. This war is ending _today_ , and they are determined that each of them will make it though it alive.

They may not have given much thought to what comes _after_ the war -- what with Zuko actually thinking that Iroh would want the crown when there is a very better ruler, one who can make amends with the world far greater than Iroh could and bring the Fire Nation back to it’s former glory -- but hopefully, they will have time to figure it out once the fighting is done.

Because while it was undeniable that they would forever be involved in the worlds politics -- how could they not be, after traveling with the Avatar so long? And with the added fact that Aang’s job is far from over, Iroh can not begin to see these young warriors leaving him to deal with it alone -- there are still those in the older generation who are both wise enough and hopefully peace hungry enough to take over the politics until they are older. To offer mentorship so that these young ones may _truely_ find their legs in the world.

It won’t be an easy transition though, not for the _older_ generation who are used to calling all the shots, and not for the _younger_ generation who have had to pull their weight more than any child should and are used to more responsibility than they should have to bear.

But that is an issue to think of after Ozai and Azula have been dealt with. And all too soon, it’s time for the young ones -- for _Zuko_ \-- to once again head out and place their lives on the line.

He can do nothing more now than pray they all make it out alive, put trust in their skills, and do his own part.

* * *

After retaking Ba Sing Se, they first thing Iroh sees is Avatar Aang helping... Suki? he believes her name was?... hold up Sokka who’s leg appeared to be injured. But par that, remarkably they were all _perfectly okay_. Barley a mark on them. And Iroh wants to let out a laugh, but he can not let himself relax. Not yet. Not until he knows what happened to Ozai, and if he’s still alive and being taken prisoner, and by whom. Not until he knows if there are anymore Fire Nation soldiers who are angling to fight, and need to be dealt with. Not until the Earth King is found, and his Kingdom back in his hands and no longer Iroh’s responsibility.

Not until he knows if Zuko and Katara are alive and well too.

And when Aang takes charge of one of the only functioning air balloons to fly to the capital, after leaving a now bendless and defenceless chained Ozai in the Orders care for safe keeping -- just as a precaution that **spirits forbid** Zuko and Katara _failed_ and Azula was still a big a threat as ever -- it did not take much prompting from Pakku to join them. He had to see it himself, no matter what the outcome. 

As they’re flying he ignores, politely mind you, the group around him discussing their part in the fight, talking about the successes and heart stopping could have beens. Ignores Aang’s explanation on _how_ and _where_ he learned to take bending away (though he makes a mental note to ask about it later, for Iroh has never heard of the Avatar having such an ability before). Ignores how they’re all trying desperately not to worry about what they may see when they land.

Iroh can not afford that luxury. He can not afford to not think about how to do with Azula should she still prove to be a problem. Can’t afford not to think about how the Fire Nation and the world at large will react if he _does_ have to become Fire Lord -- because as much as he wants to pretend otherwise, he knows there’s always the possibility that he’ll have to. Not just in the case of if Zuko is dead, but also on the case he receives a serious injury. Iroh will not allow the boy to force himself into work if it’s something that requires more... gentle... care -- and has to think about what to do with Ozai if both of his children are dead.

And it infuriates him that he _knows_ that Ozai would not care if that were the case. Would place the blame on _their_ shoulders instead of his own, even though he was the monster who created them.

He gets jolted out of his thoughts when he sees the castle. Or at least, what remains of it. While he can’t see any new flames being thrown about -- which can only mean the fight is over. That once they get there, either Zuko or Azula will most likely be dead -- the smoke from the fight still lingers. Crumbling remains of the buildings litter the streets, and as they land, not a person was in sight.

Fortunately, neither were bodies.

Before they’ve even reached the doors they are slamming open, and Katara comes sprinting out to tackle her brother in a hug that is quickly joined by the other children.

“You guys are okay! You’re all actually okay, we all made it through this!” she’s saying, voice wavering as tears fill her eyes.

One sentence. That one sentence is all it takes the bring his breath back, and for the moment, for all plans about what must be done next to completely leave his mind.

He leaves the group to celebrate their survival, hearing the sentence run off as he makes for the door,

“Where’s Zuko?” “In the medical wing. He got hurt taking a bolt of....”

If he had the stamina, he’d be running at that. Because a bolt of lightning. Azula shot _lightning_ at him. And while thankfully it appeared he was able to redirect it since he’s still alive, that does nothing to calm his racing heart. Knows that until he sees Zuko himself, all his minds eye will see is the young Avatar falling defenceless after Azula had shot him.

As he barges into the medical wing, he scans the room -- though there a little people in it, little people in the palace at all which is concerning in it’s own right but not his major concern -- and as soon as he sees Zuko, who was apparently talking to a medic instead of _resting_ like he should be after taking a lightning attack he marches over and pulls him into a hug.

Decorum be damned.

“Uncle, Uncle I’m alright. I promise, I’m fine.”

“Thank the spirits I taught you to redirect lightning. I always feared she would turn it against you when I was not there, but had hoped she wouldn’t. I could have _lost_ you today had I not taught you that,” Iroh said, not releasing his grib. If anything, he holds on tighter.

“Oh, I mean yeah but, it came in handy a lot earlier than that I mean, without it Father would have killed me on the eclipse so... it’s not as if it was the first time,” Zuko says as he twitches in Iroh’s arms. Not as if to move away, but more in a way to let out the awkwardness of the situation.

Iroh moves just far enough regardless to grab onto his shoulders and ask, “Ozai shot lightning at you? **_Why_** would you have been anywhere near your father on the eclipse?”

“To set things straight, and to tell him I was leaving.”

Said so bluntly, as if _of course_ that was the only option that Zuko could take and was confused on why Iroh would even need to ask. Iroh would scold him later for taking needless risks with his life, no matter how proud he was that Zuko managed to face his life long fears to call his father out. For now, he just pulls him back into his arms, and thinks words of gratitude that they both made it through this no worse for wear.

When Zuko asks after his friends, Iroh tells them where to find them and says they can speak more later. And Zuko could tell him about what happened with Azula and where she currently is being held then. For now, all Zuko needs to concern himself with is celebrating with his friends, and to take the small break that will be afforded to him before the Fire Nation will be demanding his attention.

And while Iroh knows that this is only the first hurdle they must fight, that peace is not a thing that will come easily, watching Zuko go and check on his **friends** and knowing that he is safe, whole, and _happy_ Iroh has never felt more content. Because for the first time in a long while, he knows that it does not all fall to him. That, even when he is gone, Zuko will _always_ have people to turn to when times are hard, and that he would accept that help gladly. And to also know that once he is no longer around, while he has no doubt there will be mistakes made, that this young group of warriors will always be there to correct each other, and drag the world into a new era.

And for the first time since Lu Ten, Iroh is at _peace_.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading and I hoped you enjoyed it~ Happy Holidays y'all~!
> 
> Kudos, comments and bookmarks make my day 💙


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